IC madness

So, as I've mentioned here before, I'm heading to Iowa City in the fall. As of yesterday, I've got an apartment lined up. I just have to sign the lease and reimburse my future roommate's parents for my half of the security deposit and first month's rent. Oh yeah, that's right. I'm going to be having a roommate for the first time in my life, at the age of 24. It shall be different. I've gotten used to living alone. I may have to change a few things. The closest I've been to having a roommate was living on the same dorm floor--or the Katrina Spring Break trip, where 500 guys slept in the same room.

We had our second Iowa City team meeting today, and it's amazing to hear what God is doing already. Those that are trying to sell houses in Ames are having amazing success--"We sold our house in a week" "Ours sold in half a week" "We had a cash offer before we actually listed it"--and this is supposed to be a buyer's market! It should not be this easy. The main things left are finding housing and work in IC, but God will take care of those things on His schedule, not ours.

At Perspectives today, I mentioned that I had been at church since 9 that morning--church then the meeting, then Perspectives--and God decided to use one little thing I said. For those that have never taken Perspectives (which I think is absolutely none of those that actually read this, but just in case) at the tables there are some postcards so that you can thank the speaker for coming. Anyway, at the start of the snack break, one of the guys at my table handed me one of these cards with his name and phone number on one side. On the other side was a list of names. I asked him what it was, and he said it was friends he knew in Iowa City that needed the gospel. We'll see what God is going to do in regards to this list. The list is currently sitting in my Bible along with about 50 other pieces of paper--including all of the prayer requests asked at this morning's meeting.

Apologies

You may have noticed that the poll is gone. My sincere apologies to the two of you who actually voted, but I invalidated the poll at 12:13 today. That's right, I got the Star Trek: Next Generation Motion Picture Collection. I now have all 11 Star Trek movies.

Now the question about Nerd Day is a when. Should it start on a Saturday at around noon, and go until Sunday morning then we all go to church exhausted? Should it start Friday evening/night and go until Saturday afternoon/evening? Should it be split into two consecutive Saturdays, each starting at around noon, with the first Saturday being devoted to the Original Motion Picture Collection, and the second Saturday being for the rest? (Keep in mind that the total length of all 11 of these movies is around 21 hours) I'm going to have to think about it for a little while, so you all can fight it out in the comments, or talk to me personally. All I've decided so far is that Nerd Day(s) will not happen before Spring Break.

What do you mean I can't bring this in here?

Today at Perspectives, they were trying to demonstrate what the persecuted church goes through. The lights were off, and we were asked to communicate quietly and turn off (not just silent--even remove the battery) our phones. During the prayer time, people were banging on the doors and shouting at us. However, none of those things had me flustered. Here's what did:

Girl at door: "You can't bring that book in here."

Me: "What?"

*points to my Bible* "You can't bring that in here today."

*doesn't fully understand, tries to put it back in my pocket*

"No, here" *takes my Bible* "you'll get it back later. Take a seat."

*stands there feeling lost and very confused*

"Take a seat somewhere."

*sits down feeling painfully unsure of myself*
-----
AND SCENE.

It's weird. I'll sometimes go a month without touching my Bible, and feel fine about it, but when someone tries to actually remove it from me, I feel lost. I don't know how I could possibly reconcile these two things, so I won't try.

I'm down

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody,
I got some money 'cause I just got paid.
How I wish I had someone to talk to,
I'm in an awful way.
-Another Saturday Night, Sam Cooke

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
-Psalm 42:5 (also Psalm 43:5) (NIV)

I'm not feeling the greatest this evening. I'm not entirely sure why, but the song lyrics that I started this post off with popped into my head a little while ago, so the subject of this post is probably a big part of it.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11

I need to hold close to this verse. I memorized it a few weeks ago. It's even at the right side of this blog and stored in my phone from when I had just flunked out of college, and a good friend texted it to me. I don't think he knew that I've saved that message--all others get deleted every couple of weeks.

I also need to remember that I'm not alone, no matter how much it feels like it at any particular time. I've always got the Comforter with me.

Bloody socks are bad, right?

Here's an update on this post. Last night, about an hour before Salt, I noticed that my left ankle was bleeding and painful. When I put my shoes on, the pain got worse, so they were the likely cause. I didn't have time to buy new shoes, so I just put a few layers of duct tape over the heel of the left shoe, and put a band-aid on my ankle.

Today, I went to get new shoes. They are the same as my old shoes, except whiter and without the giant holes in the sides--the old ones are now waiting for trash collection.

Of course, buying shoes for me means two long bus trips--the 1 north, and the 3 south so as to avoid having to cross Lincoln Way. During these travels, I saw four people I know and am able to say their correct names--of course, keeping with the manner in which I write my blog, I will not divulge these names here. However, only one of these four acknowledged my existence on the bus. I'm okay with that. The first that didn't acknowledge me was someone I don't really like talking to, and the other two were of the female persuasion--I'm usually uncomfortable around women.

I am a little proud of myself for avoiding what I was tempted to do when the women boarded the bus on my way back to my place--namely, texting "Hello", "Would you like to sit down" or the ever-popular/ever-creepy "Turn around". I'm fairly sure that would not have gone over well, because like I said, I'm uncomfortable around women--not to mention the creep factor.

After I got back to my place, I decided to flip back in my checkbook to see how old the shoes I had were. 10-13-09. Wow. 129 days from brand-new to garbage. Shoes should not age that fast.

100 posts of craziness

That's right, this is post number 100. I'm amazed too. For a little while, I was thinking I should say something profound for the 100th, but that might mean I'd be waiting a while, so I'll just do a fun little recap of the insanity so far--with some boring facts thrown in because I feel like it. For those that were expecting an actual post, and not just a recap, you can wait until the next one to break out the party hats.

The first post was way back on May 8th--just over 9 months ago. It included Latin phrases, and 4 points to remember about this blog--2 of which weren't true for long (if they ever were).

In case you missed it the first time around, the second post--also posted May 8th--tells of the piercings I had for about a year and a half--the 1st anniversary of their removal is coming up on March 10th.

From a post on May 19, readers find out that PBS has a way of making me angry, and that the scars from the left piercing spell out "NOT"--the scars from the one on the right spell out "TOO" (this wasn't revealed then, and is first told here).

In June, 2 of the 6 posts mentioned the vampire-gorillas, with the second one analyzing whether or not I was a vampire.

July's posts were concerned with my parent's divorce and moving to Ames.

The major August post came on the 22nd, retelling my experience of coming to Christ--and how I got as far away as I was.

September mentions football and weight loss a lot....and as an update on the weight loss, I'm under 100 kilograms now--bringing the weight loss total to 70 pounds (the only remaining weight I remember being at was 150 pounds in 5th grade, and that's another 70 away).

October had the fun of the Utility problems. It also had post number 50, and talk of the Salt Retreat and Unite.

November had the fun "4 posts in a day" day, the 7th. It also was home to the "Particle Physics and the Big Bang Theory imply a Higher Power" post. November also held the first post about Iowa City.

December had the "mission" post, more talk about Iowa City, a paragraph where I reveal that my thumb may have been broken--I believe that it's still broken--and the post where I pull the mask off of Santa.

Finally, we've gotten to this year. January held my obsession with numbers, revealed my colorblindness, talked of talking and walking, with more Iowa City, and a broken car door.

This month, I've proposed an idea for increasing the nerdiness of my friends, revealed my lack of concern for myself, showed off one of my political views, talked of relationships--and why I'm not really fit for one--walked through a day with no sleep--until my 4 or 5 hour nap the afternoon after posting that--and analyzed Domino's new recipe.

Now for some boring facts. The order of the months by number of posts: October (16), August (13), February (12--so far, counting this one), May (11), November & December (tied at 10), September & January (tied at 9), June (6) and July (4). Longest span between posts: 24 days--between the last post in June and the first in July. Shortest span: 9 minutes--between the second and third posts on November 7. Average span: about 2.9 days. Number of total comments: 33. Comments by people other than myself: 28.

Dreams are weird II

In my last post, I said I need to give my plans for the future (wife, kids, teaching) up to God. The night after posting that, I had a strange dream that seems related--at least, the end of the dream seems related, but more meaning might be gleaned from the telling of all the details I can recall.

The earliest thing in the dream I can remember was gathering bees--don't ask me why--by utilizing a smoker to knock them out, then just putting them in a container. Shortly after that, the task switched to putting snakes into a plastic bag, using the same method as the bees--I don't think this would actually work, let alone the problem of a plastic bag full of snakes. Apparently, I didn't get the snakes fast enough, because whatever they were needed for had started by the time I was done, so I was forced to hold the bag.

As I held it, the bag began to shake violently and grow in size, weakening as it got bigger--I know it was weakening because the snakes were starting to force their fangs through it. When it got to the size of a garbage bag, I dropped it and turned away--a really bad idea when there's a plastic bag full of snakes, but whatever.

When I turned back, the bag was gone, and there was a child there in its place--a 2 or 3 year old boy. He was singing the "I love you" song from Barney in Chinese (at least, he was singing to that tune, and the word "Chinese" was said by someone else in the dream, so I assume that's what he was singing). He began to back away from me, towards the oven. This oven, instead of going to the floor, was open underneath, and the floor opened up to a pit, where the fire that heated the oven was.

I started running towards the kid, screaming "NO NO NO *#%%@&$ IT NO!" I dove, trying to catch this kid as his legs are starting to go over the edge, and he stopped singing, looked directly at me, and said "Yes." Then he dropped down over the edge, and I woke up, drenched in sweat.



Ordinarily, I would have posted this yesterday--the day after the dream--but it was jumbled, and I didn't think of the possible connection to Friday's post until today. The look on the kid's face and the tone of his voice as he said the simple word "Yes" is burned into my mind--very serious, almost angry with me for trying to stop him, with a slight hint of derision. To be completely honest, I'm a little worried about going to sleep tonight, in case this dream--or another one like it--tries to resurface.

Singles' Awareness Day

Sunday is Singles' Awareness Day (Valentine's Day for those of you in some manner of relationship)--as if you didn't know already. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship on February 14th. Not that it really matters, anyway. It's just another day on the calendar, except that the chocolate, flower, and greeting card industries wanted to make some good money in the middle of winter.

What this post is really about, though, is more proof that I should be single at this point in my life. Last night at Salt, Mark said if you spend more than 10 hours playing video games per week, you're not ready......that's me out.

But seriously, going back to the Fusion last Friday, the speaker used an Oreo as a metaphor. The filling is God--you need to keep God at the center. With God, problems are easily overcome, but without him, relationships crumble. Given my history--I know, I'm a whole new creation now, but my flesh would still tempt me--I wouldn't be able to have a God-centered relationship. I would try to raise her to a point where she's above God. Whenever I've gotten into a relationship, my grades have suffered--and they've taken another turn for the worse when the relationship ends--because all I care about is spending time with the girl.

Also, I've been hearing a lot of people talking about "that thing that you don't want to give up to God"--probably because God knows that's what I need to hear at this point in my life. "That thing" for me is the plans for the future--teach chemistry, get married, have kids. I expect that to be where my life goes. I expect God to just let me have those things, when He might want me single and taking the gospel to the Middle East--or any number of other possibilities. I don't think He'll give me those things--if He does at all--unless and until I say "YOUR will be done in my life" and wholeheartedly mean it. I need to pray for a changed heart--the one I've got doesn't like to give up on some things.

Domino's

Okay, for those of you that have been seeing all the Domino's commercials touting their new, improved pizza and have been wondering if it's really worth all the hype, you no longer have to wonder. I have taken it upon myself to test it for you.

They were having a 2 medium, 2-topping pizzas for 5.99 each, which is the only reason I thought I'd give them another shot. I chose laziness over cheapness, and decided to have it delivered--even though I live a grand total of 3 blocks away. I pre-ordered it to be delivered at 4:00 this afternoon.

For a lark, I checked their online pizza tracker right after ordering (at about noon). I noticed a problem quite quickly. Down in the "Your Order Details" box, the second pizza had the wrong toppings listed: Pepperoni, Green Chili Peppers, and Ham instead of Big Pepperoni (exactly what it sounds like) and Ham. The conformation email they sent me was right, so I ignored the problem, and hoped that their website was just wrong--which wouldn't be surprising, given my recent experiences with websites.

4:00 came.....and went. At 4:15, I started thinking that if they really didn't want my money, that was okay with me, I'd just order from somewhere else tomorrow and wishing I had written down the phone number so I could call and inquire about the status of my foodstuffs. At 4:30, a knock comes on the door. Bang! Bang!

I got up and paid for (and received) my food--which was correct to what I ordered, the website was wrong. I sat down and took the first bite and my first thought was......Meh.

The pizza was very forgettable--average at best. The only two memorable things were the sauce and the crust. The sauce seemed to be an afterthought, or maybe I just thought that way because there didn't seem to be any--there was a bit of a peppery aftertaste, so there might have actually been some on there (or maybe they had really given me some free chili peppers on my pizza). The crust was good--they got one thing right, at least. The rest of the pizza wasn't very noticeable.

So you may be asking, what about all the commercials? They make it sound like it's a lot better. Well, it IS a lot better than it was, and that's the sad thing.

Sleep is for the weak......or is that "sleep is for the week"?

Whichever it is, I've been awake since arising from a glorious 11-hour snooze on my futon at 8 Monday morning--unless you count that half-hour nap I took while sitting up on my futon from 7:15 to 7:45 this morning. The first thing I did was wipe the drool off my phone--if I don't sleep on my back, I drool, but if I do sleep on my back, I snore (don't you just envy my future wife right now?). After that was a shower, then laundry. While laundry was going, I read the Daily and the (Des Moines) Register and did the puzzles in the Register--and learned that the Super Bowl had indeed been played, and points were scored.

After laundry--where I discovered I have been using the second-best dryer in my building (thank you, mystery laundry neighbor for leaving your clothes in the dryer overnight)--I checked email and did internet stuff--including writing a post on this here blog.

Nothing else really happened until 3, when I decided it was about time to clean my bathroom. I had to quit before getting the shower completely clean because the fumes were making me dizzy, so I went on to vacuum the rest of my apartment.

At 7, I went to some mini-sermons at the MU chapel. Since I get no signal on my phone there, I decided not to put it on silent--so naturally, during the third mini-sermon, my phone decided to let everyone in the room know I had a voicemail, even though I had no way to check it there.

When the sermon was over--about 8:35--I slunk outside to check the voicemail. It took 5 minutes to convince my phone that there was signal to be had, and then I still had to turn it off and on again to make it understand that signal means I can make phone calls. It was about the snow we've had here, and there would be an opportunity to shovel. I called the guy back and said I could, and he told me he'd pick me up at around 2:50. I was now forced to make a decision: to go back to my apartment and get 4 hours (at most) of sleep, or get a bottle of pop, go to MMM and just stay awake. I've already given away what option I went with--Nacho Libre was great, btw.

After MMM, I went back to my place and watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, including all the DVD extras. Then it was time to suit up.

I wore two pairs of socks, two pairs of pants (one tucked into the boots, the other over the boots), boots, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, my jacket, my hat (which is actually two hats), and my good gloves--with a scarf in my jacket pocket just in case.

We got there a little early, and waited in the car until 3, then got started. Around 4:30, I decided my face was too cold, so I put on my scarf and took off my glasses--they fog up if I wear my scarf. After a couple minutes, I noticed a funny smell, which was oddly familiar, but I couldn't place it. I thought it through: "okay, I've worn this scarf a few times, and breathing my foul breath on it..." Suddenly it hit me. New Orleans! Oh, crap! My scarf smells like New Orleans!

You may be wondering, "Why is this an 'Oh, crap' moment? What's wrong with New Orleans?" Well, it has to do with why I was there--and when. I was there during the Spring Break after Hurricane Katrina hit. One of the strongest memories was the smell--a damp, musty, moldy smell. The mold there was principally black mold. This can cause severe health problems. However, it is unlikely that the mold on my scarf was the dreaded black mold. So, keeping in the spirit of this post, I took a few simple steps:

1. Remove scarf and put glasses back on

2. Tell NO ONE (until this post goes live, that is)

3. Resume work as normal

4. Plan to wash the scarf when I get back to my place

5. Hope that the slight burning sensation in my nasal cavity and the coughing go away soon (they did)

Anyway, I shoveled for another 2 hours, then we called it quits. When I got back to my place again, I threw the scarf--and other things--into the laundry, making sure to use the good dryer. While things were in the washer, I took a shower--and nearly passed out from a combination of exhaustion and lingering cleaner fumes, so I naturally took the rational route (sit on my futon for 10 minutes with my eyes closed, then ignore the whole episode). I took the aforementioned nap after the 10-minute sit-down (I dressed and got a drink of water in between). I woke up, and got the Register after moving stuff into the dryer--the Daily wasn't out yet. When laundry was done, I tried to sleep, but couldn't, so I came out to post this and get the Daily.

I wonder if I can make it to connection group without falling asleep.
.......STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS.......

Clarification

I'm not sure if my views fully got through in this post, so allow me to elucidate.

1. I HATE that it is an option. I think this is the main thing that I didn't get across clearly.

2. Until this world is free from brokenness, it must remain an option--so fix the adoption system (500,000 kids in this country's foster system at any given time--with around 20,000 "aging out" of the system or running away instead of finding a home every year--is too many) solve rape, incest, and pregnancy complications first, then abolish abortion.

3. The way to end abortion is not through protesting at abortion clinics--and calling people "baby-killers" or condemning them--it is prevention of the situations that warrant abortion--rape, incest, etc. Some of these situations won't be stopped until the world is remade. Also, it is my opinion that what is said during these protests may be part of the reason for the post-abortion depression that "pro-lifers" (some of whom are also for the death penalty, go figure) always cite.

4. We need better sex ed programs--sorry people, abstinence-only education doesn't always work; we need to stress protection methods as well, even though they aren't perfect.

5. Abortion should not be a cure-all resort. It is vastly overused. Like I said in the previous post on this topic, if you're not ready to have a kid, don't have sex--or at least, use some form of protection, and take the risk that it fails; and if it does fail, be responsible. Also, RU-486 ("the morning-after pill") and abortion should not be used as an excuse to get blind drunk--or intoxicated on any other substance--and open yourself up for the possibility that you'll be taken advantage of, or think "it doesn't matter, I can always 'undo' it, so I'll do whatever I want with whoever I want".

I'm sorry if any of you got the idea that I like abortion, or that it doesn't make me feel sick when I hear about the staggering frequency it is used--over 1/4 of pregnancies worldwide. My science background sometimes gets in the way of saying it's okay to force the moral decision on people--which is what criminalizing abortion would do, if it would actually stop it from happening (nearly half of all abortions occur where it isn't legal). I hope this post has cleared things up, and I welcome any rational discussion on the topic.

Poll explanation

As pointed out in the last post, I have started a poll about Nerd Day. You may have noticed a typo in one of the possible answers: "wating" instead of "waiting". I would have changed this, but I didn't notice until someone had voted, and Google won't let me edit a poll that someone has voted on, and I'm too apathetic about the misspelling to delete the poll and restart it. If I were to do that, the answers would be very different: "No Picard, No Pike"; "No Picard, Yes Pike"; "Yes Picard, No Pike"; "Yes Picard, Yes Pike"; and "Ralph Nader" (Yes, it's an old joke, but I'm an old joker).

Anyway, I have not voted in the poll--and I mean not to. I do have a first choice--and a second choice--but I will not reveal these until the poll is over--so it can't be argued that I influenced my own poll.

In the event of a tie, I have three options open to me: I can force a run-off, and throw out all that weren't tied at the end; I can say "I didn't vote yet" and/or "I started this poll" and use this/these to break the tie; or I can take the tyrannical dictator option and throw out the poll completely (I could do this even if there isn't a tie). Which option I take depends on what is tied with what. If my first choice is tied with anything else, I will break the tie in favor of that. If my first choice isn't tied, I will have a run-off poll, and keep the decision out of my hands--even if it means not having either my first or second choice. I will not use the fact that I didn't vote to force my top choice into a tie--if it's one vote behind, it loses, just like any other option would.

For any that are wondering when Nerd Day would be, it depends--if a "wait for Next Gen" option wins, we may be waiting for a while; if not, it would be some Saturday in March or April, probably starting around noon.

Relationships

Last night, I went to Fusion, and the talk was about relationships, including 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Just from that, I don't believe I am ready for a relationship. The main problem I see in this short text for me is the end of verse 5 "it keeps no record of wrongs." I hold grudges for long periods. I am getting better with that, but I still have problems. It may be just that I'm overly critical of myself, however--which is why many pastors recommend you talk to people close to you about these things.

Even without that passage, I am jobless, so it's a bad time for me to start a relationship anyway.

--
Shifting to an unrelated topic, you may have noticed the poll at the top of the page--or maybe you didn't, whatever. It will be open until the end of the month, so you have plenty of time to vote.

The A word--no, not that one

After reading the link from Mark's blog--and watching Star Trek III, in which there is a scene that opens the door for a possible pregnant Vulcan--I've been thinking about the abortion "debate"--I don't know if it can really be called a debate, since debates tend to be civil. Anyway, if you were to ask me if I was for abortion, I'd have to give one of two answers: "yes" with an "if", or "no" with a "but". Please allow me to explain.

My first argument for allowing it to be legal is that it's going to happen, whether it's legal or not--I know, by that argument, everything should be legal--and if it is legal, it can happen in a safe and controlled environment. A good--but fictional--account of the possible consequences of having an illegal abortion can be found in A Case of Need. I feel that, since it is going to happen, we--as Christians, or even just as fellow humans--should be concerned with safety of those that choose to do this.

My second argument is that at times, it is medically necessary or warranted. For example in cases where the mother's or child's well-being could be in danger if the pregnancy were to continue--an example would be Tim Tebow. Or if the child has birth defects, and would likely not live long after birth.

Other times when abortion should at least be considered is in cases of rape or incest. Some women in that position would come to resent the child--being a constant reminder of that horrible time in their life--and may mistreat or neglect it, even before the birth.

Now you may be thinking "What about adoption". Well, adoption by itself is not the full answer. Note: I'm not sure if the research supports the trends I list here, so bear with me. Chances are, if a child is not adopted by 2, they will remain in the foster care system until they reach adulthood--there is a stigma on children in the foster care system that makes some would-be adoptive parents shy away. Also, with more and more families adopting from foreign countries, more children are left unadopted in this country. Some of these children grow up feeling unloved and unwanted, and so may have behavioral and/or substance abuse problems. I do agree that adoption is better than abortion, but neither alone is the complete answer--without other changes.

The best answer, of course, is getting people to be responsible with what they do. If you're not ready for the likely consequences, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS! If you're not financially and emotionally ready to raise a child or deal with an STD, don't have sex, even with precautions. It's simple. Contraceptives aren't perfect. They fail occasionally, and some don't even masquerade as being able to stop STDs. I can't claim purity without blatantly lying, but I haven't had sexual contact with another, and I'm hurtling towards 24, so it's not impossible.

You may have noticed that so far, I've only been talking about society as a whole, and haven't mentioned my personal stance. Well, if the child involved was a product of my stupidity or unwillingness to wait, I don't think I could live with myself if the adoption or abortion options were taken--I would want to be in my child's life too much. However, I know that at times, abortion is an option that needs to be considered--at the very least--so it should not be made illegal.

That's the long and short of my opinion. It may not be completely biblical, but neither is the stance that some anti-abortionists take--murdering doctors, telling women that they're going to hell, etc. We need to remember to love the sinner, yet hate the sin. Too easily do we forget half of that sentence--and both are forgotten in different situations.

Cursed(?) blessing

So yesterday, I was thinking (in other words, talking to myself) when I noticed that one thing I've been blessed with has shaped a lot of my behavior.

The first part of this blessing is that I have a high tolerance for pain. For example, I've played football while I had a pulled groin and a tweaked knee, I've continued to play ultimate frisbee after getting kneed in the chest, and I've slammed my head in a car door and simply walked away like nothing happened.

Secondly, I rarely get sick. I can hang out with people who have the flu and get nothing worse than the sniffles--and I've never had a flu shot. I eat (probably) undercooked meat on a semi-regular basis, but don't even get an upset stomach. I get a lot of colds, but that's about it. I haven't been sick to the point of regurgitation for years--I think since 8th grade. I do get sick--chickenpox twice, many bouts of pinkeye, and the time I was so sick where my stomach would reject even water (my earliest memory is of having to take a pill then--I'll let you fill in the blanks)--but it's rare.

Thirdly, when I do get sick, it's usually not for long--most of the time, a good three-hour nap and I'm fine again.

This blessing has caused me to not care too much about my safety and health. I take stupid risks--"I bet that if I take a running start at the top of these stairs, I can make it down without falling", "So what if it's pouring, it's only a 2-mile walk", "It's only five blocks, it doesn't matter that it's below zero", etc. I'm a big believer in the 5-second rule, even though I'm not a big believer in vacuuming regularly. And if I do get injured or sick, I tend to shrug it off and wait for it to heal on its own--I don't go to doctors unless it's serious.

Now, you might be thinking that if I don't care about my own injuries/illnesses, that I wouldn't care about others, and you would be wrong. If I get injured, I tend to laugh it off, but if someone else gets hurt, I'm one of the first people over, making sure they're okay, and feeling anxious until I know they are--even when I know they're in good hands, my thoughts turn to them until I see that they're okay for myself.

However, other people do worry about my safety and well-being, and this causes me great discomfort. I try to hide when I'm hurting--even if it means making the injury worse--just so others won't worry about me, and if I'm sick (with more than just a cold) I just quarantine myself so others won't catch whatever I have--or know that I'm not feeling well.

This worry that others will worry about me caused me to be the person I was as a young man--namely, a jerk. I figured that if I was a jerk to you, you wouldn't care if I got hurt, so my worry is gone. This worry is also a big part of why I try not to let people get very close to me--I'd rather not have them concerned when I get hurt for doing something stupid.

Of course, not letting people get close to me and being a jerk all the time has its drawbacks--I think that, along with what's mentioned in this post, caused a lot of my depression.

So, this blessing that many other people would love to have has, at times, become like a curse to me. Maybe I just need to change my attitude about the whole thing--with some help from God.

Nerd day?

As I've told some people already, I have acquired the "Star Trek: Original Motion Picture Collection". For those that are Trek-less, or that only recognize the J.J. Abrams film simply titled "Star Trek", what the ST:OMP Collection contains is Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, plus about 2.5 hours of bonus features--all totaling 14 hours. However, this does mean that I'm still 4 movies short of having the entire Star Trek Movie Collection--Star Trek (VII--they stopped numbering after The Undiscovered Country): Generations, Star Trek (VIII): First Contact, Star Trek (IX): Insurrection, and Star Trek (X): Nemesis.

Anyway, on to the title of this post. Since I now have 7 of the 11 Star Trek films, I have been thinking about having a "Nerd Day" where I invite people over and we watch all of them in succession. However, I am debating whether or not I should obtain Star Trek: The Next Generation Motion Picture Collection first--which would mean that the wait would be indeterminate. I'm also not sure there would be much of a demand to see all the films, with or without those four. Of course, having people over to watch movies would also require me to do some cleaning, so that may be the biggest obstacle. Another issue that would be raised if the Next Generation films aren't obtained would be the decision on whether or not to view the J.J. Abrams film--since by the prime timeline, these four occur before Spock fails to save Romulus. I'll have to think more about these matters--and possibly seek some advice.

Is the internet out to get me?

Part of the reason I got online this morning was so that I could pay my rent. Much to my dismay, instead of the site where I sign in and pay my rent, I get a "We're sorry, but this web site is no longer active." message. So now I have to get out my checkbook, travel out to the office--which is by Target--and pay my rent in person. And I thought I might be able to avoid bus travel today. Hooray for the internet's hatred or me.