I had a nightmare last night. I'm not sure if the subject matter is sad or hilarious. In short, I had a nightmare about tech stuff.
To elaborate, I dreamt that I had to run lyrics, and everything was going wrong. Apparently, there had been no time for practice, judging by some of the problems. There was a new song that I didn't know, all the slides for the songs were mixed together instead of being separated into each individual song, and none of the slides were formatted the same--leading to a problem where the lyrics didn't actually get projected, and the band forgot the words in the middle of the song.
I woke up from that, and remembered that I was running lights, so it was going to be okay....and then we actually got there. The person scheduled for lyrics had forgotten and gone to Ames for the weekend, so I switched to lyrics and another person took lights. At that point, I yelled to my roommate that it was coming true--having already told him about the nightmare before we left the apartment. He just laughed, and a few other people wondered what I meant.
Well, there was a new song that I didn't know, but that and me running lyrics was all that came true from the dream.
Side note: I think God likes the tech team. When we got to the hotel, it was somewhat bright out, and only a little foggy. After practice started, it began to rain--hard. There was even a point where everyone went out to move their cars because of the chance of large hail. By the time church was over, the rain had stopped, so we missed the storm.
29 May 2011
24 May 2011
Pella!
Well, my cousin is graduating from high school on Saturday....or maybe Friday, I'm not 100% sure. So, I'll be leaving Iowa City at around noon on Friday. In case you missed the post title, he's graduating from Pella. I'll probably get back to the apartment late Saturday afternoon/early Saturday evening. Then I'm on lights the next morning. So my dad will probably be at church on Sunday--unless he has to work that day.
On an unrelated note, I have a pair of shorts now. This is the first pair of shorts I've gotten since I started high school--in 1999. I won't wear them in Iowa City until Sunday at the earliest, because I have to wash clothes before I wear them--otherwise, I get really itchy. Stupid sensitive skin. I also have to use those "free" detergents--the ones with no perfumes or dyes--and I'm afraid to try different bath soap. For other reasons, I can't change shampoo brands (last time I did, I had a sneezing fit every time I took a shower) or be around people wearing lots of perfume/cologne (I'll get headaches that make caffeine withdrawal look mild). Stupid weak, sickly earthly body. Anyway, I got the shorts because I plan to be taking long walks on a regular basis. I've taken 2 2-hour walks in the last week, and it gets a little warm in full jeans.
And now it's all dark in the apartment. Maybe I should react to the growing darkness before it gets to the point where I can't see all the way down the hall to the bedrooms. Maybe I should also put an end to this post and do something about the dark.
On an unrelated note, I have a pair of shorts now. This is the first pair of shorts I've gotten since I started high school--in 1999. I won't wear them in Iowa City until Sunday at the earliest, because I have to wash clothes before I wear them--otherwise, I get really itchy. Stupid sensitive skin. I also have to use those "free" detergents--the ones with no perfumes or dyes--and I'm afraid to try different bath soap. For other reasons, I can't change shampoo brands (last time I did, I had a sneezing fit every time I took a shower) or be around people wearing lots of perfume/cologne (I'll get headaches that make caffeine withdrawal look mild). Stupid weak, sickly earthly body. Anyway, I got the shorts because I plan to be taking long walks on a regular basis. I've taken 2 2-hour walks in the last week, and it gets a little warm in full jeans.
And now it's all dark in the apartment. Maybe I should react to the growing darkness before it gets to the point where I can't see all the way down the hall to the bedrooms. Maybe I should also put an end to this post and do something about the dark.
22 May 2011
Tornadoes
As I mentioned at the end of the last post, there was a tornado warning here. I didn't leave my apartment. I may have even spent the whole time in my recliner. That got me to thinking about when I was a little kid, and how every time there was a tornado warning, the family would go down to the basement, into the little room on the uphill side--the one that had about a three-foot thick wall against the outside and the main load-bearing wall for the house, which was about a foot thick itself, on the other side--hunker down with the little black-and-white TV (complete with the clicking channel knobs--they're hard to describe if you don't remember them, so here's a picture of a TV with them), and wait for the all-clear.
----If you want to skip a rant about that old TV, go to the next line like this----
Speaking of that TV, at one point my dad made a "remote" for that one. He cut out a notch in the end of a 2x4 so we could change the channel without having to get closer than about 4 feet--which was about the distance between the chairs and the TV in that little room. After that TV broke down, that "remote" became an extra security door stop so people couldn't just break in the front door--which each of my parents did at separate times when they locked themselves out of the house.
----Here resumes the main post----
Going to the basement ended about the time I got to middle school. Then we'd stay upstairs, and wait for it to get relatively close--which it never did.
Then in college, the common reaction to a tornado warning became "Let's go out and see if we can see it!" "And if we can't, we can at least play catch/football/ultimate frisbee/tag/etc. in the rain!"
Then I got "old" and my reaction returned to simply staying where I was and watching out the window.
It's weird. I've written two posts today, and both started out as some sort of safety topic, and went off in strange directions.
----If you want to skip a rant about that old TV, go to the next line like this----
Speaking of that TV, at one point my dad made a "remote" for that one. He cut out a notch in the end of a 2x4 so we could change the channel without having to get closer than about 4 feet--which was about the distance between the chairs and the TV in that little room. After that TV broke down, that "remote" became an extra security door stop so people couldn't just break in the front door--which each of my parents did at separate times when they locked themselves out of the house.
----Here resumes the main post----
Going to the basement ended about the time I got to middle school. Then we'd stay upstairs, and wait for it to get relatively close--which it never did.
Then in college, the common reaction to a tornado warning became "Let's go out and see if we can see it!" "And if we can't, we can at least play catch/football/ultimate frisbee/tag/etc. in the rain!"
Then I got "old" and my reaction returned to simply staying where I was and watching out the window.
It's weird. I've written two posts today, and both started out as some sort of safety topic, and went off in strange directions.
Seat Belts
So, I tend to play online flash games. Lately, I keep seeing an ad about wearing seat belts. Here's the website that it links to, which appears to be only the ad. It seems to me that the message behind this is "if I don't wear my seat belt, the lame monster won't eat me." I feel this isn't what I should be getting out of this commercial.
Anyway, I also managed to be above 3.0 GPA for the second semester. Go community college!
Also, apparently, there's a tornado somewhat near here. I'm not really sure where I should go for shelter.....I guess the hallway downstairs is where it would be.
Anyway, I also managed to be above 3.0 GPA for the second semester. Go community college!
Also, apparently, there's a tornado somewhat near here. I'm not really sure where I should go for shelter.....I guess the hallway downstairs is where it would be.
14 May 2011
Matthew 14:31
I just got back from a little half hour walk. To save you the trouble of checking the time or weather at the moment of this post, it's a quarter to midnight, and it's raining. Why would I take a walk this late at night? Because I am like Peter.
This stems from the living situation for next year. I was going to be in a four-bedroom, then after only one guy being on the lease for about a month, I asked him about it, and he said that he had gotten other people for the other spots. Then the other three of us found a fourth and were looking for a different four-person place. Those proved difficult to find, so the idea was to split into pairs. Well, as I mentioned in my last post, I looked at an apartment on Tuesday. Sadly, I neglected to mention to my future roommate that I had an application until tonight. He responded by saying that a friend was moving here, and he wanted to find a place with that friend.
Of course, I reacted like any rational human being. I immediately thought that I was a horrible human being that no one wanted to live with. I restrained the urge to scream and/or throw things around the room, partially because my current roommate was home. So I pounded my fists against the back of my head, and stewed in rage for a little bit. Then I went for a walk.
When I was as far away from my place as I was going to get, I got a text. It was from the guy who (I thought) was bailing on me. We're going to work on getting a three-bedroom starting tomorrow.
As for now, I'm drenched and reminded of the story of Peter trying to walk on water:
And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" --Matthew 14:28-31 ESV
He didn't have enough faith that Jesus would see him through, and tonight, neither did I. But instead of giving in to fear, I gave in to anger.
So yeah, long story short, apartment hunting is not fun. And I tend to overreact to things. And now I'm sleepy.
This stems from the living situation for next year. I was going to be in a four-bedroom, then after only one guy being on the lease for about a month, I asked him about it, and he said that he had gotten other people for the other spots. Then the other three of us found a fourth and were looking for a different four-person place. Those proved difficult to find, so the idea was to split into pairs. Well, as I mentioned in my last post, I looked at an apartment on Tuesday. Sadly, I neglected to mention to my future roommate that I had an application until tonight. He responded by saying that a friend was moving here, and he wanted to find a place with that friend.
Of course, I reacted like any rational human being. I immediately thought that I was a horrible human being that no one wanted to live with. I restrained the urge to scream and/or throw things around the room, partially because my current roommate was home. So I pounded my fists against the back of my head, and stewed in rage for a little bit. Then I went for a walk.
When I was as far away from my place as I was going to get, I got a text. It was from the guy who (I thought) was bailing on me. We're going to work on getting a three-bedroom starting tomorrow.
As for now, I'm drenched and reminded of the story of Peter trying to walk on water:
And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" --Matthew 14:28-31 ESV
He didn't have enough faith that Jesus would see him through, and tonight, neither did I. But instead of giving in to fear, I gave in to anger.
So yeah, long story short, apartment hunting is not fun. And I tend to overreact to things. And now I'm sleepy.
10 May 2011
Last Day at Kirkwood
Today was my last day at Kirkwood Community College. I turned in a paper and took a final. I had also scheduled an apartment visit at 2:30. My final was scheduled from 12-2 (which I had forgotten when scheduling the apartment visit). The apartment I was looking at also happened to be an hour's walk away from Kirkwood--and about the same from my current apartment. On the first 90-degree day of the year. Yay.
So, I wore flip-flops to school today. Before my final, I was talking with a guy in my class, and he offered to give me a ride to the apartment viewing.
The test took a grand total of 15 minutes. (By the way, I only needed about a 20% on the final to get 90% in the class) I waited a little bit for the classmate to finish the test, and rode out near the apartment to hang out for an hour. I walked the short distance (about a mile) to the apartment, and my right flip-flop broke a little bit before getting to the office.
So I got to walk home from the viewing barefoot most of the way. It took around an hour and a half, because I tend to walk slowly without shoes, and I stopped at the mall to use the bathroom and refill my water.
When I got home, I changed my shirt--the one I had been wearing was soaked with sweat--and washed my feet. After clearing off the dirt, I found out I had about half a dozen blisters on my feet. And more recently, I noticed that my face is a little pink--so the sun had a little effect on me.
Now my head hurts--probably the sunburn--my feet hurt, and I'm sleepy. On the bright side, the cold I've been fighting for about a month seems to have finally given up and died. I might go to bed early and sleep late. That sounds awesome right now. That or chugging a couple bottles of Mountain Dew. I've given up caffeine for the time being, and I was up to 2 24-ounce bottles a day--my last bottle was this morning. Withdrawal sucks.
So, I wore flip-flops to school today. Before my final, I was talking with a guy in my class, and he offered to give me a ride to the apartment viewing.
The test took a grand total of 15 minutes. (By the way, I only needed about a 20% on the final to get 90% in the class) I waited a little bit for the classmate to finish the test, and rode out near the apartment to hang out for an hour. I walked the short distance (about a mile) to the apartment, and my right flip-flop broke a little bit before getting to the office.
So I got to walk home from the viewing barefoot most of the way. It took around an hour and a half, because I tend to walk slowly without shoes, and I stopped at the mall to use the bathroom and refill my water.
When I got home, I changed my shirt--the one I had been wearing was soaked with sweat--and washed my feet. After clearing off the dirt, I found out I had about half a dozen blisters on my feet. And more recently, I noticed that my face is a little pink--so the sun had a little effect on me.
Now my head hurts--probably the sunburn--my feet hurt, and I'm sleepy. On the bright side, the cold I've been fighting for about a month seems to have finally given up and died. I might go to bed early and sleep late. That sounds awesome right now. That or chugging a couple bottles of Mountain Dew. I've given up caffeine for the time being, and I was up to 2 24-ounce bottles a day--my last bottle was this morning. Withdrawal sucks.
03 May 2011
5/6
So, lately I've been thinking about my relationship status, and feeling a need to be in a relationship. There are a lot of contributing factors to this: I see people younger than me getting engaged or in relationships, one of my friends from high school died this past Friday, and a couple worries that crop up every so often.
First, I'll talk a little about why I don't think I should jump into a relationship now. I'm likely thinking about this at all due to the wrong reasons--feeling like I need to get this going now or I'll be alone for the rest of my life, mild jealousy of my friends, etc. I'm also still basically a big kid--I've only had one job that lasted more than one day and wasn't dependent on bad weather, I'm still in school, I don't have any form of personal transportation (or even governmental permission to operate many forms of transportation). I also tend to put women on a pedestal, whether I'm intending to ask her out or in a relationship. My mind makes this big imaginary relationship, and when that is shattered, it sucks. The woman essentially takes over my thoughts, pushing all else out to the edges. This makes me wonder if I'm capable of having a God-centered relationship.
Also, I'm not really used to the position of pursuer in relationships. Throughout middle school and high school, girls used to pursue me--until they gave up trying to get me to realize they liked me. I could never understand why they were interested, so I often thought they were setting me up for some cruel joke. I had hygiene problems; I was so nerdy that even the other nerds picked on me; I had big, plastic frame glasses (think Drew Carey's glasses); I almost never cut my hair; and I was fat--even compared to now. Yet I still seemed to attract the intelligent, attractive girls. It makes my head hurt just to think about that. Just last night at connection group, one of the guys said I was "the most eligible bachelor in Salt". Of course, I started listing guys that I think are "better". Yay for low self-esteem.
Now you may be wondering about the "couple worries" I mentioned in the first paragraph. Well, every once in a while, this feeling comes upon me that I've only got a few years left. I have no real reason to think so, but I feel that I won't live past 30--I about had a panic attack during class today because of these thoughts. On top of that, every time I think about the future, two things keep coming to my mind: a head injury and a car accident. I don't know if these three worries are connected (or even if they'll come true), but I just get a sense that a head injury and a car accident will be important in my life. It doesn't make sense for me to think that I won't live past 30. My parents are both alive and in their 50s, with their worst health problems being sleep apnea for my dad and diabetes for my mom (and she's got that mostly under control). My grandparents all lived to at least 80, with my dad's mom still alive. Even with that, I still occasionally get this strange feeling that I won't live much longer. From that comes the thought that "if I'm ever going to have kids, I need to get working on that now". I'm four weeks away from 25, so if this feeling is accurate, I've only got about 5 years left--at most. So yeah, random worries causing me to act somewhat irrationally. What else is new?
First, I'll talk a little about why I don't think I should jump into a relationship now. I'm likely thinking about this at all due to the wrong reasons--feeling like I need to get this going now or I'll be alone for the rest of my life, mild jealousy of my friends, etc. I'm also still basically a big kid--I've only had one job that lasted more than one day and wasn't dependent on bad weather, I'm still in school, I don't have any form of personal transportation (or even governmental permission to operate many forms of transportation). I also tend to put women on a pedestal, whether I'm intending to ask her out or in a relationship. My mind makes this big imaginary relationship, and when that is shattered, it sucks. The woman essentially takes over my thoughts, pushing all else out to the edges. This makes me wonder if I'm capable of having a God-centered relationship.
Also, I'm not really used to the position of pursuer in relationships. Throughout middle school and high school, girls used to pursue me--until they gave up trying to get me to realize they liked me. I could never understand why they were interested, so I often thought they were setting me up for some cruel joke. I had hygiene problems; I was so nerdy that even the other nerds picked on me; I had big, plastic frame glasses (think Drew Carey's glasses); I almost never cut my hair; and I was fat--even compared to now. Yet I still seemed to attract the intelligent, attractive girls. It makes my head hurt just to think about that. Just last night at connection group, one of the guys said I was "the most eligible bachelor in Salt". Of course, I started listing guys that I think are "better". Yay for low self-esteem.
Now you may be wondering about the "couple worries" I mentioned in the first paragraph. Well, every once in a while, this feeling comes upon me that I've only got a few years left. I have no real reason to think so, but I feel that I won't live past 30--I about had a panic attack during class today because of these thoughts. On top of that, every time I think about the future, two things keep coming to my mind: a head injury and a car accident. I don't know if these three worries are connected (or even if they'll come true), but I just get a sense that a head injury and a car accident will be important in my life. It doesn't make sense for me to think that I won't live past 30. My parents are both alive and in their 50s, with their worst health problems being sleep apnea for my dad and diabetes for my mom (and she's got that mostly under control). My grandparents all lived to at least 80, with my dad's mom still alive. Even with that, I still occasionally get this strange feeling that I won't live much longer. From that comes the thought that "if I'm ever going to have kids, I need to get working on that now". I'm four weeks away from 25, so if this feeling is accurate, I've only got about 5 years left--at most. So yeah, random worries causing me to act somewhat irrationally. What else is new?
02 May 2011
Osama
So, as most of you have probably heard, Osama Bin Laden is dead. I've been seeing and hearing a lot of celebratory talk about this--including spontaneous "USA" chants at sporting events--and it makes me a little sick. I never liked the "War on Terror". Even before I was a Christian, I was against it. The proper response to terrorism is not war. Violence only begets violence. I am, and always have been, a pacifist.
Luke 6:29 states: If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don't hold back your shirt either.
Matthew 5:39: But I tell you, don't resist [or retaliate against] an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
Proverbs 3:31-32: Don't envy a violent man or choose any of his ways; for the devious are detestable to the LORD, but He is a friend to the upright.
These kinds of passages are numerous. God's people are not meant to fight back, not meant to retaliate, not meant to take revenge. We are supposed to LOVE, not hate. Build up, not destroy. One song that really captures this idea (at least to me) is People of God by Gungor:
About half an hour ago, one of my facebook friends provided this link which puts forth the same argument I'm making, only much better.
So, in summary, this is not an event we should be celebrating. Another of God's children--for that's what every person on this planet is, whether they believe it or act it or not--has died without knowing His grace. Not to mention the 4 others that were killed during the raid, including one woman that was being used as a human shield.
Sorry if I've brought everybody down with this post, but I just felt I had to chime in on such a "momentous occasion" as this.
Luke 6:29 states: If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don't hold back your shirt either.
Matthew 5:39: But I tell you, don't resist [or retaliate against] an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
Proverbs 3:31-32: Don't envy a violent man or choose any of his ways; for the devious are detestable to the LORD, but He is a friend to the upright.
These kinds of passages are numerous. God's people are not meant to fight back, not meant to retaliate, not meant to take revenge. We are supposed to LOVE, not hate. Build up, not destroy. One song that really captures this idea (at least to me) is People of God by Gungor:
About half an hour ago, one of my facebook friends provided this link which puts forth the same argument I'm making, only much better.
So, in summary, this is not an event we should be celebrating. Another of God's children--for that's what every person on this planet is, whether they believe it or act it or not--has died without knowing His grace. Not to mention the 4 others that were killed during the raid, including one woman that was being used as a human shield.
Sorry if I've brought everybody down with this post, but I just felt I had to chime in on such a "momentous occasion" as this.
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