Always talking

Sorry, no Monday Movie Madness movie review this week--there was no MMM last night, and even if there was, I was hanging out with my connection group (on a non-connection group night, that's how awesome we are). Anyway, on the way there, I got to thinking--and talking--about how I tend to talk to myself out loud. It's constant--unless there's someone else within hearing range. Some people have even caught me talking to myself, and I just shrug it off and keep going.

Why do I do it? It keeps me focused, and keeps one topic in the forefront of my mind--most of the time, anyway. If I didn't, my mind would go off on tangents, and tangents of tangents, until suddenly, I'm thinking about things that I shouldn't think about (which I won't go into here). I like this quote that is a response to someone asking why Gandalf always talks to himself "It's a habit of the very old. We tend to pick out the wisest person in the room to talk to."

What do I talk about? That depends. Sometimes it's what I need to do today, tomorrow, or the next day--very rarely any further ahead than that. Sometimes it's getting the idea for a blog post formalized and concrete--like I've said before, these posts are often "written" before I get to a computer. Other times, it's saying what I would say to others if I had a spine or a death wish or both--like a couple days ago, when someone parked in the middle of a small parking lot at a post office, then complained when the next car honked at him, I started talking to myself saying that he was lucky all that person did was honk. Sometimes, I'll even continue my half of a conversation that had ended a few minutes before.

I've also noticed that I tend to talk differently when I'm walking around than when I'm in my apartment. When I'm in my apartment, it's more like I'm giving a speech, but when I'm walking around, I talk more like I'm answering a series of questions. This would prompt any outside observer to think that I hear voices, but I'm just answering questions that I would want answered if someone was talking about whatever subject I happen to be talking about. I'm not sure why I have different styles of talking to myself, but I do.

And in case you're wondering, the talking to myself doesn't stop when I'm around others. It just switches from being out loud to being in my head. The only times I really stop talking to myself is when I'm having a real conversation with someone--and that doesn't always stop me from having a little side convo in my head.

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To switch tracks for a moment, I probably won't be on Facebook for a little while. As a few of you know, I found out yesterday that my parents' divorce is final--and only because of my mom's status. I'm a little upset about that, and I'm going to blame Facebook, at least in part. So now's a good time to write something crazy or embarrassing on my wall--as if I'd really care anyway.